Attitudes.

Attitudes. I have a bad one.

First let me say I don't cook. Hardly at all. I don't enjoy it; I find it difficult; and it takes up way too much time. And then there's the messy kitchen.

Maury commented that she wanted to know more about "my restaurant attitude", and why I was having to work on it. The thing is, I've never worked in a restaurant, so I feel bad to even say that I have attitude when it comes to eating out. But, I do. I sooo do. I have certain expectations that must be met for complete satisfaction to occur. This is the case with most things, not just with the dining experience. ~ I'll confess later in the post a few of the things I've done that have absolutely embarrassed Brian to death. ~ I feel if I am expected to pay a 20% premium on something that I feel already costs too much, and smile and be patient, keep a 1 year old occupied because his Mac-n-Cheese isn't waiting on him (blessed with his momma's patience. poor thing.), then there's got to be a logical path to the justification. I don't mind doing this at all, but I want it justified. Ultimately, there is only one individual that has the honor of being tagged with this responsibility - The Elusive Waiter or Waitress.

I'm not saying that all are bad. In fact, there are a couple of restaurants that we visit only because a certain waiter/waitress works there. Like Krissy, for instance. She knows us when we walk thru the door at The Dixie Cafe in WLR (west little rock). She knows Braiden by name and plays with his hair. She talks to him like he's an adult - which I LOVE! She knows what we like to eat, how we like it prepared (no tomatoes, chicken & bun only, UNsweet tea)...you get the picture. She's perfect! She tells us what tastes bad, and which manager dislikes children. And, when she's not there, even the food isn't worth the visit. I'm getting off track here...

There are a number of qualities that a successful (in my opinion) waiter must possess. They need to be friendly, but not over-the-top. They need to be as accurate as their kitchen will allow them to be (meaning, I understand they can only do so much; they are the messanger; but if they can get it to the kitchen correctly, then we can blame the kitchen). They shouldn't derive a dozen limp excuses for why something went wrong - it's wrong, fix it. And if something is ever incorrect they should never, ever turn it into the patron's fault, ie. "you didn't say no tomatoes". People, I always say no tomatoes!!

A waiter that has been asked to bring something to the table has 2 chances with me: For example - We need napkins. You're having a busy night. Ok, that's understandable. (1)We ask for napkins (which we never have to do with Krissy, by the way). "Sure. I'll be right back". Later, we see the waiter stroll by our table with nothing in his hands. Ok. (2)I look at his eyes, as to remind him that he's spoken with me about a prior request. I grin a little. He acknowledges me and seems to understand the notion. He's gone for eons of time. He returns to ask if there's anything else we need before he brings us the ticket. WHAT? So, I usually say something like, "we'd like to have the napkins we asked for earlier, thanks." Now, napkins are not as big of a deal as say, butter on my bun, mayo on Brian's burger, or ... let me see ... taking my baby's plate away while he's still eating!!!!!!! Yes, that has happened. At The Buffalo Grill on Bowman. A couple of weeks ago.

She was friendly. Didn't talk much (which is fine as long as you get the job done). She wasn't around much, but we weren't in need of much either, so it worked in her favor. The end of our meal is nearing; she appears. I turn my head to grab a few napkins and clean Braiden's endless mess, and I notice her walk away with a white plate. She has grabbed mine. Fine. I wasn't really ready for it to be whisked away, and she didn't ask if it was ok, but I had my napkin wadded up on top of my leftovers so no harm done. Then I glance at my child, a piece of hot dog still in his hand. There's no plate. She had taken his plate, too! I looked at Brian and said, 'did she take Braiden's plate?'. He was like, 'yeah, I guess she did'. I said, "HE WASN'T FINISHED EATING...Look, he still has a piece of hot dog in his hand." When she returned, she asked if there was anything else we needed, and I said coldly, "Yes, we'd like to have the food we ordered for our baby to eat; which was removed before he was finished!" She just stared at me. I said, "HE WAS STILL. EATING." She then musters the audacity to look me in the face and say his plate was stacked up so she assumed he was done. WHAT? Stacked up? On what? He was picking up a bite of hot dog when her hand was on his plate. And, further more, why would we stack plates up in front of a 1 year old? I say something to that effect. She then retorts with, "well, would you like for me to bring him another one?" By this time, I'm furious. I say, "No. We've already ordered it once, and he was attempting to eat it. We certainly don't want to pay for anything else for him to eat, or wait around for another one. We'd like to go." Then I looked at Braiden and said loudly, "I'm sorry you didn't get to eat your dinner, sweetie." She said, "Would you like to talk to the manager?" I said, "That won't be necessary. We'll just note not to come back here again."

You guessed it. The manager was at our table in 2 minutes. This gave me the opportunity to express how unrealistic it is to charge people (1) for food they aren't allowed to eat, and (2) for asking that 3 condiments be removed and replaced with a side of 1 condiment!! Yes, hold the lettuce, tomato and mayo, but add a side of honey mustard dressing is an additional $0.79. It's fine to charge more if the condiment costs more on their end. I get that. But, what charges did they remove from my bill when I asked them to not waste their mayo, tomato and lettuce?? Where's that deduction?? Trivial, yes. But, important to me, nonetheless.

I come to expect nonchalant treatment from various places because that's generally the outcome. This, in turn, causes me to jump on the defensive no matter what the issue is. It is so bad, in fact, that I spoke coldly and matter-of-factly to a sweet little waitress in Hattisburg, MS while on vacation recently, when she was actually trying to help me. I felt horrible after that and made a vow to Brian on the way to Mobile that I was going to work on my restaurant attitude.

Now, for the embarrassing moments Brian has had to endure with me:
(1) I am notorious for "writing" their tip on the back of the ticket
(2) I once snatched the ticket AND MY CARD from a waitress who first GRABBED it from me, after not acknowledging a previous request of mine
(3) On Halloween, the 3 of us were out at an Italian joint enjoying dinner. The end arrived and we hadn't seen our waitress in more than 15 minutes. Oh, we saw her alright, but she was in a group of other waiters/waitresses gossiping about moving in with some guy. Brian had been out of tea the entire time. Braiden was acting a fool (and I let him in hopes of drawing attention to our table). I finally took my cell phone, called information, and was connected with the front desk of this fine establishment. I was speaking to a girl that I could see thru the window! I told her who I was, where we were seated and what we wanted. When we disconnected the phone call, the lobby erupted with laughter. Apologies came streaming. That was a glorious moment.